Apologies

     When I was little my mom was insistent that my siblings and I would apologize any time we had misstepped. While I was fortunate enough to learn how to create an effective apology I'm learning that quite a large faction of society has not been so lucky.

     Apologies are pretty straightforward with three key components: 

1. Take responsibility for your actions/ the situation
2. Express regret 
3. Request forgiveness & assure will not happen again/ you will attempt to prevent a recurrence

For example: 

Dear Person I Have Wronged, 

I am sorry I (hurt your feelings/ broke your object/ what did you do which requires an apology?). I did not mean to do it. In the future, I will (consider your point of view/ look where I'm going/ not do it again/ etc.).  I hope you can forgive me.

Sincerely, 

Signature

The important part is to be sincere and actually mean what you're saying when you apologize. I hope this helps. 

Just a thought....

Stephie

Resignation Letter

I have recently been granted the opportunity to transition from one portion of the company I've worked for for the last five-and-a-half years to becoming an independent contractor for the same company. However, this transition means leaving my current position. I've always been reminded (by my wonderfully traditional parents) that when you leave a position voluntarily you must announce your intention.

Convention tells us that two-weeks' notice is appropriate, but I was never taught how, and haven't found much in the way of an appropriate example. A recent scroll through Pinterest came across a post that summarized my feelings without being either too formal or too personal. I thought I'd share my revised version:

Company Name
Company Address Line 1
Company Address Line 2

Date of letter 

Dear Supervisor, 

Please accept this letter as my formal resignation from Position at Company effective Date, two weeks from today. 

During my time at Company, I have been fortunate for the opportunity to grow and learn more about Industry. Thank you, I appreciate your support during my tenure here. Your guidance and support have prepared me well for the future. 

I wish Company the very best going forward. 

Respectfully, 

Signature

Name
Personal Address Line 1
Personal Address Line 2
e-mail address

If you've changed managers or have a more personal relationship with your leadership you can always add more detail. A heartfelt wish for the future of the company and continued good relations can solidify a relationship with the company, at the very least with the individuals of the company.

Remember, these are the people who you'll be working with until your last day, and likely will be asked for their opinion of you by potential future employers. It is never a bad idea to leave a good, lasting impression.

Just a thought...
Stephie

Madam Secretary

I recently decided to check out the show Madam Secretary. While I enjoy the political intrigue and how the Elizabeth McCord controls the situation and makes it work to her advantage, I especially enjoy watching the relationships play out. The relationship between the Secretary of State and her husband seems unique in comparison to what we see on television. Similar shows are more focused on relationships which have deteriorated and are fraught with betrayal and spite; it’s a relief to see a marriage closer to what I see in real life.

Bess and Henry regularly assert that they are a team. They share their daily challenges and triumphs. They worry about their children as parents worry. And they have fights, disagreements, and misunderstandings just as any other couple does. Through the highs and lows Bess and Henry support each other and their relationship is one I admire.

I have only seen about six episodes of the first season, but I’m looking forward to the rest of the show. Looks like it’s time for a marathon!

Society's Dictates--Young Love

     There have been an awful lot of posts on various blogs and articles posted about what kinds of romantic relationships we should be developing as a society, when we should be getting married, and why not to get married so young. I should point out that "so young" is usually early twenties. While they're all interesting, they point to a society able to dictate  kind of lives we lead--you should be married with three kids before you're thirty; you shouldn't even think about getting engaged until you're thirty-one; you should have a relationship that makes you fight to find things in common because you're such different people and opposites attract; you should do this; you should do that. Personally, I don't care who you fall in love with, or marry, so long as you treat your partner with respect and don't go showing disrespect to me and my decisions because of the life I choose to lead.
     My younger sister and her boyfriend got engaged at the beginning of the year and this dictatorial society we've developed became a huge problem in my life because of her decision--she had friends and random people telling her she was making a huge mistake because they got engaged when they're only twenty-one. If they are going to make the commitment to each other, why not? What do you, as a single, twenty-two-year-old college student have to show this young woman that is any different than what she's learned from her single older sister, her friends who've gotten married and had kids, her parents, her cousins, aunts and uncles, and the people both married and divorced in her life? Why does society allow us to crush the dreams of young women who do want to get married and have a family?
     The answers I've received to these questions have all been that Feminism tells us she should be focusing on herself as a woman and not giving her life over to a man, depending on him. When did Feminism become so warped?! Feminism is about women being able to make the choice to either become career-women, become mothers, stay single without being criticized, or choose to live a life of serial monogamy. It isn't about destroying the traditional family values, it is about giving women the choice to be what they want.
     Another line I've gotten says getting married so young and committing to a single person will cause problems down the line because they'll grow apart. They still need to grow and develop. I was watching a show on television and the female character put it perfectly: marriage is about finding a person that will grow with you.
     While these opinions are wonderful, and I'm glad there are people who hold the views, what gives society the right to crush the hope of young people when life isn't cynical enough to keep us within other people's opinions? In recent history people would say something when a friend was making a leap without foundation, but for a stranger to tell you you're too young to marry is overstepping their place.
     Why can't we be happy someone has found joy in love?

Just a thought...
Stephie

Old Family, New Friends

     I love it when I can visit with family. It's been a long and frustrating few years since we all lived close to each other and gas prices made it easy to just plan a trip for the weekend. When we were little it was easy because our family lived in Portland, Gra'ma and Papa lived in Central Oregon, and out of my seven aunt-uncle sets the furthest lived in Central California. Since we moved everyone else has moved too, but it seems we're moving closer together.
     What is it about Central Oregon that draws us all back? Is it that my parents' generation grew up there, or is it that all of our best memories are there? I don't know, but for me it's that my family is mostly close by no matter where in Central Oregon I am.
     I came down to Madras to visit my aunt and her kids. I wasn't expecting to see much of my oldest cousin, but I've been given the opportunity to meet his children and I absolutely adore them. The older two are girls and sweethearts. They're brilliant for a nine and seven-year-old, they love to cook, they're outdoorsy, and we all get along so much better than I'd have thought with our age differences. The youngest is a four-year-old boy who looks just like daddy. Their boy is a ladies man, as young as he is, and I can't sit in a room with him without him curling up next to me.
     My cousin's kids are wonderful, so is his wife, but I'm most glad I got to know him again. He's several years older than me and when the family started going its separate ways he was just starting his family. Now that we're adults it's great to become friends as well as family. There is something to be said for creating friendships with family, even the ones you don't see very often.

Just thinking...
Stephie

Heroes

     When it first started on television, I wasn't all that interested in watching Heroes. Since, I've started to see the various shows that have similar theories behind them like Eureka and Warehouse 13.  There is something behind the idea that humans have the power and ability to achieve more than we think we can.

     It's kind of entertaining how strongly we cling to this idea that we can be more than the average person. Escapism culture has taken on a new element--not only can we escape whatever events in our lives are bothering us, but we can start to escape from the elements of ourselves that have negative connections. By knowing or thinking that we can achieve more than the average person - that we each have some sort of magical super power - there is no longer that moment of looking at the self and criticizing it. Instead we each look at the self and only see the superpower--the positive side of it. 

     There are so many different powers in this show - a teen-aged cheerleader who is indestructible  an underachieving Japanese man who can bend space and time, an american who can fly - his brother is running for Senate, and the brilliant Indian biologist who ties them all together. The characters haven't had many adventures yet, I've just started watching Heroes, but they're just learning that they have powers. I'm excited to catch up with the show and all its spin-offs. 

Just a thought...

Stephie

Lizzie Bennet Diaries

     Lately a lot of my friends have been talking about several different vlogs, my favorite has been the "Lizzie Bennet Diaries" which is produced by Hank Green. (I'm fascinated by pretty much anything Hank or John Green make--even though I haven't gotten to the books--right now.) The premise is that Elizabeth Bennet is a graduate student making a video diary of her life, it essentially follows the arc of Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice in the modern communications field.
     The episodes are between two and eight minutes long and a new one comes out each Monday and Thursday morning. Recently they released the 94th episode, but there are rumors going around that the series will end on the one-hundredth episode. One friend and I are following the story pretty closely and we are a little confused how so much of the book will be squished into only six episodes. Yet, if they boil it down to the essence of the story, all they'll have to do is get Lizzie and Darcy together, and they'll be done.
     I'm super stoked about the next few episodes, but will be sad to see such a good show go. I wonder if the producers will be willing to continue with other classic books?

Just a thought...
Stephie

Valentine's Day

     This isn't going to be one of those ushy-gushy love posts, nor is it going to be an "I hate Valentine's Day" post. I just want to question why it is so important to have a relationship on a random day in February?
     I understand the history behind why the day itself is associated with love: in Roman times St. Valentine was marrying couples in the Christian faith against Roman law and was killed for his faith in Christianity and for breaking the law. We celebrate his commitment to love and to his faith (didn't think it was a religious holiday, did you?) every year. But why do we have to go out and fight to have plans on the one day? Maybe I'm happy with my book and music, or maybe I want to spend the day with my boyfriend; why do I have to go to the effort of planning something on February 14th? Answer: Secularization. When people noticed that there was a story that celebrated love and they could make money off of it, capitalism picked up the ball and ran.
     That's all fine and dandy, but why is there such a pressure on girls (I'm not sure guys are pressured nearly as much, or looked down upon for not having a date) to find a date and spend time with them. I love the idea of planning out a time to celebrate love, but quit pushing me to give my time to someone I'm not going to invest the rest of my life in, let alone the next couple months. Let me find love and romance in my own time. Let me make plans with friends and celebrate romance the rest of the year rather than just one week in February. But thank you for February 15th when most people flock to the stores and find chocolate for much cheaper than normal, it's a nice break for those chocoholics out there.

Just a thought...
Stephie

Paper Airplane Love

     Last year, Disney came out with a new short, it's called "Paperman" and I saw it for the first time today and completely fell in love with it. It's a combination of Computer Generated Imaging and the hand-drawn line which is apparently new...? I thought they'd have tried the combination before transitioning into CGI only, but that's just me.
     The short is in black and white and it shows this young man in the 1950s who works at some corporate job filling out papers with a bunch of other men. When he meets a beautiful girl at the train station he thinks it's a one-time meeting: he'll never see her again. He's surprised when she appears in the window of the building across the street. He starts throwing paper airplanes, trying to get her attention but failing. Some of his reactions are so lifelike they're priceless to watch.
     Eventually the man runs out of paper and decides to go find her, but she's turned a corner out of sight. He finds the last airplane and throws it out of frustration, but the airplane (and I can just hear that little voice in my head) thinks "Oh no, buddy, you're not giving up on love." It goes and finds a bunch of the failed attempts and they push the young man along, keeping him sitting still when he tries to fight them. Then the one airplane finds the beautiful woman. It's fascinatingly adorable watching the airplanes bounce along on the wind because they look like the mops from the Sorcerer's Apprentice in Fantasia, where Mickey enchants the mop to clean the floor.
     It's Disney, so of course there's a happy ending, but I strongly encourage you to watch through the credits. It's an amazing story of 'love conquers all' and an especially helpful reminder that sometimes you just have to wait, and sometimes fate needs to be shown that you're serious about it. So, now that I'm done fan-girl-ing about it; Enjoy!

Just a thought...
Stephie

"Are You Mad?"

     I went bowling with some friends tonight. It was a great time and I spent time with some people that I haven't seen in a long time, plus some people that I see on a regular basis. It was a great night, but I'm getting over a cold and the late night started taking its toll. We all walked from our apartments to the bowling alley and bowled several games, then about 1:00 am we walked back home. The entire way home I was coughing and wheezing, I just put it down to the massive change in temperature: mid-80s Farenheit to low-30s is a huge drop for my already overworked lungs.
     We got back to our complex and I noticed that my car was parked in a manner that would make leaving tomorrow difficult, so I took five minutes to clear it out and move it. During that five minutes I spent moving my car and preparing for tomorrow one of my friends--Peter--was bothering Lucy, another of our friends, about whether or not I was mad. My question is "what would I be mad about?" We all had a great night, made some good memories, and no one got hurt. When I got into the building it was my turn for the inquisition and he insisted on examining every part of the evening until I told him; I'm not mad, I'm sick, tired, and in pain from moving in and out of the cold. He then wanted to go into whether or not I was mad because Calvin came, I was excited Calvin decided to join our group and that I got to spend more time with him, why would that make me angry? In the end Lucy and I just sent Peter to bed and resolved to talk to him later.
     It gets me thinking though, why does Peter think I'm so angry? I might be disappointed something didn't turn out as I wanted, but when I retreat into my own world it doesn't mean I'm angry, rather I probably need a few minutes to myself and to react to large groups of people. As outgoing as I am with my friends, I really am an introvert and I do need those moments of relaxed alone time.

Just a thought....
Stephie

Protecting His Friend, or Himself?

     Have you ever had one of those days where someone said one thing, and it ruined your entire day, and leeched into the next day? That was today. I was chatting with a few friends last night, at dinner, when I mentioned that a mutual friend was interesting and I'd like to get to know him better. Nearly everyone at the table was okay with this decision, but the friend who had introduced us (we'll call him Jack) completely put his foot down. The others: (and these are not their real names) Edward, Lucy, Collin, Peter, and Bernard actually seemed supportive, but Jack insisted that our mutual friend (Calvin, for lack of his literary favorite) was interested in someone else, and this is after Jack'd tried to pair him with a girl from class.
     Normally that'd be okay, but the way he phrased it as "Calvin is off-limits" rather than just suggesting I wait until he'd figured out what's going on with that to pursue anything new. It made me angry that Jack was butting into my life, and kind of indignant that he was butting into Calvin's life. We're at completely different points where we want different things from our relationships and Jack doesn't seem to get that I'm going to do my best not to hurt Calvin.
     I keep trying to figure out why he'd do something so decisive as step in front of any "relationship train" that might move, and a couple of my friends and I came up with answers that don't fit with what I know about Jack: he likes me (that's not going anywhere and he's the kind of guy to move on when he realizes it's not), he's afraid I'll hurt Calvin (okay...), Calvin will hurt me and he wants to prevent that (really?!), he's afraid to lose Calvin to a relationship like he lost Peter to a relationship (that's not going to happen any time soon), and there are more, but those are the ones we're dealing with now. I just want Jack to let whatever is or isn't going to happen happen, let us figure this out for ourselves and you'll keep both friendships and might even develop both further. The only thing that's made the day any better is my other friends' encouragement, that's what friends are for: to make your day better.

Library Woes

     Yesterday I made a trip to the library with my grandmother: not a completely unusual occurrence, but it was not what I expected. Instead of going to the library we normally visit, we stopped by a branch closer into town and I was surprised at the difference between both size of the building and the selection. At our usual library the main room is probably sixty feet long and eighty feet wide. The entire selection of books, movies, audiobooks, music and the public computers take up that space. The fiction section at the library we visited yesterday was about the same size. What made it unexpected was the fact that we're in the same county and run by the same library system.
     My question is: why? Why is a library is the same system--in a more populated, yet more rural area--so much smaller than one closer to town? Wouldn't the thought be, if the library is one of the only modes of entertainment and public enhancement make it more varied and bigger? I don't understand. Okay, I understand that the system wouldn't want a larger library in an area where people wouldn't use it, but if the library was larger, it follows that more people would be able to use it. I guess my largest frustration is that I have read most of the selection at the local library, and now I have to go to other branches if I want to explore something new.
     On the plus side, I now know that particular library has a good selection of general fiction, and a spectacular media section. I think I'll send in a letter to the main office.

Just a thought...
Stephie

Back to the Grind

It's 2013!

     It was a crazy year, 2012: at least four "apocalypses", a Presidential Election, and some very influential decisions made in Washington State. Yet, we're all still here. What are some of your favorite memories from 2012? Did you ever keep those New Year's Resolutions that we're always making? What are some of the things you wouldn't change for the world?
     I'm back to school after a wonderful Christmas Break full of friends and family. New Year's was great, the party went as planned, and we had a great group of friends there. We counted down that last ten seconds to the new year and watched the Seattle Space Needle firework show on the local news. Then there was the NYC celebration, the flurry of text messages and phone calls from family and friends, and the midnight toast. Overall it was a great time and a fun way to ring in the new year.
     But now we're back. I learned yesterday that my entire January schedule was wrong: my class starts at 11:30 rather than 2:30 and goes Monday through Friday instead of starting Tuesdays. That doesn't seem like much of a change, except that it's right during the time I was scheduled to work. The frustration of figuring out how to balance all of our schedules and have someone on duty at all times is starting to get annoying, simply because January has a completely different schedule than the rest of the year. Anyway, everything is piling up, and homework is still a huge factor in what all of us Lutes are doing this month, but it's great to be back and have everyone else around.

Just a thought...
Stephie

New Year's Eve

     Every year I celebrate New Year's Eve with my family, everybody does their own thing while keeping the dogs calm as our neighbors set off fireworks. Occasionally my sister and brother and I will go over to the neighbors' house, but for the most part we don't do anything more than watch the fireworks and listen to the music on the news--kind of like the Fourth of July. But this year is going to be different.
     This year I am going to attend a party for the first time, well, a party that isn't a family get-together. And that's just kind of sad. Our party is going to be New Years themed, and I'm sure there will be an insane number of people being idiots, but what's a better reason to be silly than the end of the year? There will be music, movies, and the requisite game of beer pong. We've all made the decision to have fun and ring in the new year with some of our favorite people.
     I'm excited, Happy New Year!

Just a thought...
Stephie

Relationship Miscommunication

     So one of my really close friends was trying to talk to me about her boyfriend the other day. The boyfriend happens to be one of my friends from high school, so I know him reasonably well and don't really respond how she wants to her complaints about when he does the things that are truly unique to him. At first I just took it in stride--he's my friend and she's my friend, the two of them as a unit are my friends, not a huge deal.

     Apparently it's a much bigger deal than I thought. He and I decide to take a break from the shopping of a recent trip we made to visit her and go to dinner. We're sitting there in the pub in Portland, it was a really nice pub by the way, and he brings up that she complains to him that she can't gossip about him with me. I'm sitting there thinking, Well, duh, I've known you for about three years longer than I've known her, and he brings up the same point! I don't quite understand why it's such a big deal to everyone else that I know him as well as I do. We continue talking, and the girlfriend calls. She and my sister (who came down too) are done in the mall and want to know where we went, he gives them directions and they walk over. It's still not a big deal to either of us. 

     When they arrive she's obviously angry, or frustrated, or out of sorts with him and neither he nor I understand why. At first we just think it's that we didn't stay at the mall, then it's that he had a beer and she didn't want him anywhere near a car, then he suggested maybe jealousy; it wasn't until my sister explained that my friend's plans had been completely changed and taken out of her control that made her so out of sorts. I still don't know if he ever figured out what was going on with her, but they were pretty deep in conversation when we skedaddled. 

     My question is: how can something that is so small or innocent become a big enough deal to ruin one person's entire evening? I'm not a shopper and my friend and my sister are, he and I haven't had one-on-one time since they started dating and we were catching up. If we had known that she intended to continue with their double-date plans (even though the other couple had to cancel/postpone) the entire night would have turned out differently.

Just a thought....
Stephie

Lost Friends

     It's getting on toward graduation season again. All you high-schoolers and college kids know what that means: the loss of relationships. But why does it have to be that way? With Facebook, Twitter, e-mail, and all the other facets of the internet, why do we still lose all those friends? Were some of them just friends of convenience, or was it really just time to break off the connection? I had friends that I spoke to every day; we knew everything that was going on in each others' lives, but when school got out and we went our separate ways we just stopped talking.
     On the other hand, I've had some of the same friends for years--despite moving away, graduating high school, and going to schools in different states with different focuses. Is it just that our personalities matched better, or was there something else going on? I had a graduating friend promise to keep in touch, swears that he's not very good at it, but says he will. I know he'll try, but what methods would keep everything together?
     Was it easier to keep in touch back before all the social media of the internet when everyone had to think about keeping in touch and take the effort writing down thoughts, emotions, experiences in letters? My grandmother receives something like two letters every day from people she went to school with, or people she knew while she taught in Japan.
     Maybe what's happening is just a natural transition: as a person moves to different chapters in life, they give up friendships and relationships to create new ones. When we move from chapter to chapter, we change as individuals, and the friendships from one portion of life don't fit together with the new person from the new chapters.
     I've known my best friend for nearly sixteen years (a lifetime, I know) and when we meet up it's like nothing has changed. Recently she met one of my new friends from college. It was a strange arrangement: the friendship we've shared for years is much more innocent than the newer one, but we communicate on a deeper level for the most part. Not to say my newer friend and I don't talk about the "deep stuff", but it's done in a more immediate manner.
     I guess the question I'm grappling with is: what makes a friendship or relationship last? Is it the constant communication or a deeper connection? Is it all thing things two people have in common or is it just two personalities fitting together like puzzle pieces?

I don't know. It was just a thought....
Stephie

Happy Halloween!

     Halloween is one of those holidays that not everyone participates in. I remember growing up a friend from elementary school and her family didn't celebrate Halloween because it was a day of demons and the dead walking. Another friend didn't celebrate Halloween because her family had a big celebration around the Day of the Dead.
     My family never did big parties or anything, but the three of us kids would go out and Trick-or-Treat up and down the street; then we'd trek over to my aunt and uncle's house and walk around their neighborhood. We always had fun, and it was a great time to dress up and be something that, normally, we weren't.
     I enjoyed the costume part of the holiday. Some favorites were Aurora/Sleeping Beauty, Porthos of the Musketeers, Jasmine, and Anna Valerious from Van Helsing. I was also a tavern wench, Laura Croft, Tinkerbell, and a princess (several different times) on top of the usual little kid ghost costumes. I think the ones that are my favorites are the ones my mom made the costumes for: she sewed together both Aurora's blue dress and Porthos' musketeer poncho, and we gathered together random pieces of costumes for the rest of them.
     The costume I was looking forward to the most, at the time, was a princess complete with the Miss United States Tiara. I never got to wear that costume because I got in trouble and grounded, at first. Then, to make everything worse, I didn't even get to dress up and hand out candy because I got strep throat the day before Halloween. (It was not a good year for me.) It's not as big of a deal anymore because I was a much more legitimate princess my sophomore year of college, then a mardi gras masquerade dancer last year.
     For the last couple years I've been at school for Halloween, so I missed getting dressed up and handing out candy to the kids of the neighborhood. Instead I was helping one of our Residence Halls with their Haunted House. It's so much fun! There are scenes where different terrifying moments from horror movies happen: a operation scene, the creepy child playing in blood scene, a zombie dog & owner scene, and a witch, to name a few.
      This year we're going with the much more creepy and realistic side of things: when your tour guide just vanishes, when a family scene goes insane, a super freaky classroom, and a zombie wedding. I get to be the creepy tour guide (I'm not sure how creepy I'll really get) and I'm looking forward to it.

Some tips for a great Halloween:

• Only eat the candy that's been professionally sealed: while there are myths and rumors about people putting razor blades and other dangerous things in candy, 99% of the population is just trying to help the kids have a great Halloween. If you're suspicious, don't eat it. 
• Only go to the houses with a porch light on. It's the universal symbol for "We have candy!! Come and get it!" Unless you know the people, there's really no point in going to a house with the lights out, even if the windows are lit up, it makes people angry.
• On the other side: If you don't have candy, don't turn on your porch light. When the trick-or-treaters come, don't hide in another room: your lights are on, you're home. Don't feel obligated to give them something, just turn off the light. 
• Beware allergies! I don't know about the rest of the world, but I've encountered more kids with allergies in the past few years than when I was a kid. If you're not sure, a simple Hershey's candy bar without almonds is usually a good choice. 
• Most of all: HAVE FUN! It's not about getting the most candy or going to every house on the block, it's about getting to be something you're not, scaring your friends and siblings, and enjoying yourself. If you're not having fun, you're doing it wrong.

Have a happy, and spooky, Halloween!

Stephie

Managing Group Politics

     So I deal with one of our Residence Hall governments and we've been dealing with the politics of hiring a DJ and planning programs. We just finished an event and were going over what went well and what didn't go so well.
     The biggest thing we've discovered as a problem is discussions happening outside of the official channels. One student had asked to do music for a function and another student, one with the authority to say yes or no, didn't object. The hopeful DJ took that to mean he had the job, but the miscommunication contributed to an unsatisfactory result.
     It turns out the DJ was willing to use any music we wanted, but something stopped him from using his own music, and what we provided. So, he had a buddy bring in music. The friend's music was all of one type--dubstep--and it began to influence the event. In the end, the dance ended early because people weren't enjoying themselves or the music. An event that has been one of the biggest events of the year became a mediocre replica of what it had been, only because the lines of communication became blurry.
     Is this a normal thing that plagues all sorts of organizations? Or is it because we are inexperienced in this sort of thing? The group I'm working with is an amazing collection of passionate people working to make both their own college experience and their classmates' the best it can be.

Just a thought....
Stephie

Cussing

     My dad used to tell us kids a story about his grandmother: one of the kids would cuss in front of her and she would say "There's no such thing as a bad word, only bad intentions." I always liked the story (even if Mom and Dad didn't agree in being so laissez faire about the whole cussing thing) and remembered it when I came across an article on how cussing isn't the biggest problem in the world; God has bigger things to clean up in our lives.
     The basic premise is that Christians shouldn't cuss. But to get around cussing they create a language that is "acceptable" yet still stands in for the same thing. Then the article delves further into the concept of sinful and non-sinful language for example, a close friend gets an amazing gift for Christmas and you say "I hate you", it's joking and expressing your jealousy in a way the friend understands. But in a different situation, someone hurt your feelings and you want to return the favor so you say "I hate you" it becomes sinful--because of your intentions.
     The article goes on to talk about intentions as opposed to actions and how people who flaunt their language as a way of sounding cool aren't as cool as they think, but the writer notes there is something about using foul language that is unacceptable in and of itself. I just got to thinking about what we consider cussing and what is acceptable language, but I always come back to my great-grandma's philosophy: there are no bad words. Only bad intentions dirtying the language with which they are expressed.

Just a thought....
Stephie

Vanished!

     When I started watching Warehouse 13, I fell in love with the acting style of Joanne Kelly. Then, when my friend and I were surfing Hulu we came across another show starring, well almost starring her. It's called Vanished.
     In the show Joanne Kelly is the wife of Georgia's Senator Collins. She is kidnapped from a gala celebrating her charity work and the search begins. The series chronicles the search for her and the secrets that come with the investigation.
     So far I like the show, but there are some characters that drive me nuts. The reporter for one, all she cares about is her story no matter who it might destroy. She strikes me as a "Regina King" from Mean Girls.  She uses the people around her to get what she wants, and that isn't necessarily Sara Collins found.
     The daughter is one of those whining brats who thinks her parents hate her. Yes, there are things her father and stepmother, and mother, aren't telling her, or letting her do, but there are more productive ways to go about getting attention or her way.
     The brother isn't high on my list of favorites, but neither is he the clueless dupe everyone else seems to think--he held on to his relationship with his mother when no one else would give her the time of day, he kept his sister's secrets, and it doesn't seem like anyone has noticed anything he has done - pretty well flying under the radar.
     I don't really have an opinion on the senator one way or another. He loves his wife and yet they kidnap her, at first we don't know what for. But as the story continues he appears to hinder the FBI investigation more than help it. I'd hope if I were married and missing my husband would do more to help.
     My favorite character is probably the FBI agent, Kelton. He cares about his mission and wants to get Sara Collins back to her family. When the audience meets his family you can understand how he feels so deeply for the Collins family.
     It's an interesting show and I'm looking forward to seeing the rest of it.

Just a thought....
Stephie