Apologies

     When I was little my mom was insistent that my siblings and I would apologize any time we had misstepped. While I was fortunate enough to learn how to create an effective apology I'm learning that quite a large faction of society has not been so lucky.

     Apologies are pretty straightforward with three key components: 

1. Take responsibility for your actions/ the situation
2. Express regret 
3. Request forgiveness & assure will not happen again/ you will attempt to prevent a recurrence

For example: 

Dear Person I Have Wronged, 

I am sorry I (hurt your feelings/ broke your object/ what did you do which requires an apology?). I did not mean to do it. In the future, I will (consider your point of view/ look where I'm going/ not do it again/ etc.).  I hope you can forgive me.

Sincerely, 

Signature

The important part is to be sincere and actually mean what you're saying when you apologize. I hope this helps. 

Just a thought....

Stephie

How I Met Your Mother

     A couple of years ago my friends introduced me to How I Met Your Mother and I continued watching until it ended. At first, I was upset it would be over, but they'd reached a point where ending it was better than hoping you could continue talking about a partying forty-something group of friends, especially when they were already slowly going their separate ways.
     The show definitely mirrored my college friendships: We were unbelievably close in school, but now that we're out and about on our own we develop different friendships and value different things. All of us are working on re-building that friendship but sometimes it's time to let go.
     That said, I found an article that pretty much sums up my opinions on the ending. The series worked to diligently to build a relationship between Ted and Robin which is more than that of most exes. The last season was a cop-out: Ted and his children's mother had a few short years, but the writers killed off the mother (she's such a brief character I don't even remember her name). How they did it was heart-wrenching, but Ted turns around and, as his children point out, finds solace in Robin.
     Ted's entire journey is to find the love of his life, but he found her at the beginning of the show and we, the audience are jerked emotionally from girlfriend to girlfriend only to come back to Robin. I enjoyed the show, but it would have been perfectly acceptable to end when Ted meets the mother at Barney and Robin's wedding.

Old Family, New Friends

     I love it when I can visit with family. It's been a long and frustrating few years since we all lived close to each other and gas prices made it easy to just plan a trip for the weekend. When we were little it was easy because our family lived in Portland, Gra'ma and Papa lived in Central Oregon, and out of my seven aunt-uncle sets the furthest lived in Central California. Since we moved everyone else has moved too, but it seems we're moving closer together.
     What is it about Central Oregon that draws us all back? Is it that my parents' generation grew up there, or is it that all of our best memories are there? I don't know, but for me it's that my family is mostly close by no matter where in Central Oregon I am.
     I came down to Madras to visit my aunt and her kids. I wasn't expecting to see much of my oldest cousin, but I've been given the opportunity to meet his children and I absolutely adore them. The older two are girls and sweethearts. They're brilliant for a nine and seven-year-old, they love to cook, they're outdoorsy, and we all get along so much better than I'd have thought with our age differences. The youngest is a four-year-old boy who looks just like daddy. Their boy is a ladies man, as young as he is, and I can't sit in a room with him without him curling up next to me.
     My cousin's kids are wonderful, so is his wife, but I'm most glad I got to know him again. He's several years older than me and when the family started going its separate ways he was just starting his family. Now that we're adults it's great to become friends as well as family. There is something to be said for creating friendships with family, even the ones you don't see very often.

Just thinking...
Stephie

Vacation Time!

     This September I've been away in Wisconsin. My grandmother and I went to visit her third husband's cousin's wife (very complicated, I know) in Madison. It was a wonderful trip and we got to see a lot of different places and sights. Some highlights were the American Players Theatre production of Hamlet, the Mid-Continent Railway Museum, the Wisconsin Big Cat Rescue, and spending a week in the Northwoods.
     Hamlet was a stunning production. The American Players Theatre is centered in Spring Green, WI and has both an indoor and outdoor stage. This summer the woman my Gra'ma and I were staying with, we'll call her Mrs. Lucas, went to see APT's production of Hamlet. She absolutely loved it and insisted we go to a production. I have seen a couple different versions of the play, including Kenneth Branaugh's movie and Laurence Olivier's performance, and I wasn't expecting to be impressed, let alone blown away. Matt Schwader as Hamlet was stunning. I absolutely loved it! Mrs. Lucas also took Gra'ma and I to The Night of the Iguana, a Tennessee Williams play, and I was still spinning from how completely the cast of Hamlet took me from my here and now and transported me into the story like only a good book does.
     I think my favorite part, however, was that afterward the audience was given the opportunity to speak with the actors and have questions answered. I learned that Eric Parks, Laertes, attended my Alma Mater and I got to speak with him about that as well as the play itself. A bonus was that one of the women in the audience also attended Pacific Lutheran University, and her son roomed with Matt in college. Not only was the experience amazing theatrically, but it was driven home to me how interconnected the world can be, and how influential collegiate connections can be.

     Over the course of my four weeks in Wisconsin, Mrs. Lucas did not have internet. This is understandable: she gave up her computer when her husband became ill several years ago and there was no reason to continue paying for internet when she had no ability to use it. This did make for some complications though. You'd never realize how much we depend on the internet, or any of our other electronics, until they are taken away completely. I learned this when we trekked into the Northwoods for a week. It was a wonderful week full of visiting with friends and exploring the beauty of Autumn descending on the Midwest, but it was also a week without television, internet, cell phones, or even a landline! The next nearest neighbor was ten minutes down the road, and the nearest internet connection was an hour into town. In contrast I got a lot of reading done, wrote about the books I'd read, and just relaxed. With Gra'ma and Mrs. Lucas reminiscing about everything and anything they could come up with, it was nice to have some time to myself. Especially in such a beautiful setting.
     In our last couple weeks in Wisconsin, Mrs. Lucas wanted to expose both Gra'ma and me to as much of the area as possible. We started with a trip to the Overture Center where we had a beautiful dinner atop the building at the rooftop restaurant Fresco. Then we explored a Swiss town to the south west that didn't seem much different than any Midwest town I'd been to, but it was some sort of tourist spot. Next Mrs. Lucas took us to Baraboo and the surrounding area where we went to the Railway museum and rode the train.
     The Mid-Continent Railway Museum is in North Freedom, Wisconsin, and houses several steam and diesel engines. They both restore and run the trains that are donated to the Museum. All the work is done by volunteers, with some experts called in for specialty work, and the only paid workers are the ticket agents and the gift-shop employees. It was a wonderful place, the people were friendly and wanted to share their love of railways with everyone. The train rides are over three miles of track owned and operated by the museum and its volunteers. The rides run over the summer, ending the third week of October each year, with special events in November and February.
     We got to ride the train first class in the dining car. It was exciting; I've always loved trains and getting to visit the Jamestown, California, train museum made this trip no less exciting. Trains on the west coast are different than trains in the Midwest, though most people wouldn't think so. Gra'ma kept telling us about her experiences on trains when her father was a roundhouse foreman. She even knew the name of a particular train when no one else did! It was interesting to see such a vibrant recreation of the past in a small town in Southern Wisconsin.
     On the way back from the Railway Museum, we stopped by the Wisconsin Big Cat Rescue. They have twenty-nine cats that have been donated, rescued, or born at the rescue. We were there around naptime so the cats weren't very active, but they were beautiful! It was a nice foil to a small zoo we visited in Baraboo, WI. The zoo wasn't anything near what I've always considered a zoo, only three or four acres. They had some pretty cool animals, most of which are from North America. They had a bear, a couple wolves, deer, llamas, and a couple golden pheasants. I wasn't too impressed, but it was in a beautiful park and it was a free zoo, so I'm surprised they had so many animals from outside the area.
     I had a great time in Wisconsin; caught up on reading, explored the area, and had fun with family. I missed my parents, and especially my dog. But It's always fun to get away from daily life. I hope everyone gets a chance to do something like my trip, something out of the ordinary, and something to simply get away.

Stephie

Graduation!!

      Yesterday was Graduation Day for my university! On one hand I'm ecstatic to be finished with my undergraduate years, but on the other I'm going to miss all the friends and the experiences and I'm terrified of the "real world." These last four years have been some great times, starting with my freshman year and learning how to function again after tearing my knee apart and having surgery to fix it and finishing with this last year and the insanity of Capstone and preparation for today--my first day as a college graduate.
     There's that worry and stress about "What are you going to do after college?" Well, apparently I'm going to sit on my computer and talk to the world... I don't have a long-term job lined up like some of my classmates, but I'm positive about discovering what I enjoy and working toward the goals I've set for myself. I'm willing to let those goals change, and move with where the world flings me. I'm not exactly just letting it happen, as my family thinks, but I will look around and maybe do something a little unconventional for a while.
     What will I do after college? I will have fun, make people smile, read for pleasure, do my own research on topics that fascinate me, and I will cultivate the relationships my undergraduate years have allowed me to develop. But I will start all of that by packing up my apartment and moving back home until I have that semi-permanent job and can afford my own place.

     I want to say "Thank You" to all of my wonderful friends, my crazy family, and the myriad of professors, mentors, fellow students, and other people that have supported me, pushed me, and been the person I prove wrong when I accomplish the impossible--you have helped to create the person I am today.

Just a thought...
Stephie

Rediscovered Love

     This evening was a night out of a dream. I've always enjoyed music and the call from my mom about tickets to the Tacoma Symphony Orchestra came as a wonderful shock. My first worry was that I wouldn't be able to convince a friend to go with me (there were two tickets and I didn't want to take the opportunity form someone who could find a friend to go with) but it wasn't that big of a deal: my roommate decided to postpone her date night and join me.
     We dressed up in our finery--can I just point out that something like an orchestra concert should be attended by people in their best dress not jeans and a t-shirt, even if it's your kid's elementary school production, show you appreciate the time the musicians have put in and put on something that takes effort--our outfits weren't superbly formal, but tasteful dresses with reasonable heels for walking around downtown Tacoma were still a lot dressier than what we wear to school and work every day. We arrived in time for the show, but parking was terrible and I made it from the car just in time to take my seat before the introductory remarks began.
     One of the directors of the Orchestra introduced their sponsors from a local university and the conductor. The sponsors had their gratitude and fund-raising spiels, then the conductor got up to the microphone. The TSO had a guest conductor for the night: Paul Haas. Haas has an interesting background, but that's not really what I'm concerned with--he is hilarious! He directed a surprise for the audience; a piece he'd composed himself based on a of classic pieces he'd heard, then proceeded into the expected program.
     First was a piece by a local composer: Alexandra Bryant. It was beautiful, wavering back and forth between smooth, typically orchestral phrases and staccato sections that each draw the attention to the differences while allowing the listener to sink completely into her work. The piece, called Strange Attractors, was varied and showcased what a symphony orchestra is capable of.
     Next was Beethoven. Piano Concerto No. 3 in C minor, Op. 37 was fun to listen to: the pianist was also a guest--Stephanie Leon Shames--and the interplay between the piano's line and the orchestra's began to sound like a call and response. The part that surprised me most about the pairing was Ms. Leon Shames's lack of score. She didn't use music at all during the entire half-hour concerto, playing from memory. I have been part of a choir for over ten years and still have trouble with pieces longer than eight minutes, and the piano requires more effort to make sure to hit the right keys and put the harmonies are in the right places. I enjoyed the faster pace of the piece, it seems like people like to play classical music that drags on and the Beethoven piece didn't feel like it took half an hour.
     After intermission the final piece was Brahms's Symphony No. 4 in E minor, Op. 98. Everyone (Haas and the program notes) commented on how sad the piece was, and I could see it, but what drew me was the constant movement and the joy that permeated the piece. Even in the slower portions, the melancholy was interlaced with a joy that drew the sound higher. It was as if Brahms was portraying the search for something lost--once it is found the searcher is glad, happy, joyful, but until then the searcher is upset with a hint of joy to come. The piece's premier was Brahms's last performance in Vienna as he died from late-stage liver cancer in the late nineteenth century and there is some of that ending feeling. However, the farewell is a goodbye based in shared experiences and the happiness of the memory together. It was my favorite piece of the night.
     I have not been to a professional symphony in many years--probably since middle school--and tonight was an opportunity to rediscover a love for classical music and the pomp of going out to the theater. I hope to continue the practice in the coming years.

Just a thought...
Stephie

New Obsessions: BBC America

     This last week was Spring Break for my university so I've had some free time on my hands, actually I've had a lot of free time on my hands. I started watching Doctor Who this evening--it's the first new episode since Christmas--but got caught by the new shows that followed.
     Orphan Black and The Nerdist were interesting: Orphan Black is about a woman who watches someone who looks just like her jump in front of a train. She takes on the woman's identity and strange things start to happen in the dead woman's life. The Nerdist is about all things nerdy. The host, Chris Hardwick, described the show as a place where any thing that people can obsess over, talk about, argue about, then talk about more can be explored and talked about. I thought it was an accurate description of being a nerd; it's also a description John Green used when talking about nerds and nerdiness in his vlog. But it's also an accurate description of Tumblr, so The Nerdist is Tumblr in a television show.
     It looks like we, as a society, are becoming more interested in talking about our interests in an informal and impersonal manner. What happened to book clubs and other organizations where people meet up in real life and talk about things?
     I know I'm a culprit of this same anti-social mingling; I am, after all, talking to you from my computer while you're out there on your computer or smart phone, but what happens outside of these glowing boxes? Will we revert to finding meeting places and talking about things just as people have started writing letters again? Or will we stay tethered to the magic box that allows us to travel to an alternate world where all the other people are traveling to talk about their obsessions.

Just a thought....
Stephie

Lizzie Bennet Diaries

     Lately a lot of my friends have been talking about several different vlogs, my favorite has been the "Lizzie Bennet Diaries" which is produced by Hank Green. (I'm fascinated by pretty much anything Hank or John Green make--even though I haven't gotten to the books--right now.) The premise is that Elizabeth Bennet is a graduate student making a video diary of her life, it essentially follows the arc of Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice in the modern communications field.
     The episodes are between two and eight minutes long and a new one comes out each Monday and Thursday morning. Recently they released the 94th episode, but there are rumors going around that the series will end on the one-hundredth episode. One friend and I are following the story pretty closely and we are a little confused how so much of the book will be squished into only six episodes. Yet, if they boil it down to the essence of the story, all they'll have to do is get Lizzie and Darcy together, and they'll be done.
     I'm super stoked about the next few episodes, but will be sad to see such a good show go. I wonder if the producers will be willing to continue with other classic books?

Just a thought...
Stephie

A Compliment a Day...

     So today was not a good day; I planned to get up early, finish my homework, clean my apartment, maybe go to my parents' and play with my dog. None of that happened: I slept much later than I had hoped, managed to spend the entire day washing dishes, feeling all alone, and discovered that my roommate's boyfriend had left egg all over the lid to one of my pans. After an hour of scrubbing it is still not clean. To say the least I was not in a good mood.
     But then I checked my Facebook. I attend Pacific Lutheran University in Tacoma, WA and recently a student (at least I assume it was a student) started up a Facebook page called Pacific Lutheran Compliments where students may anonymously submit compliments to the administrator and they will appear on the page. I've been following it since its founding and it's been wonderful to see several of my friends complimented, and to just see how kind everyone is, but I was starting to feel left out when today a friend tagged me on a compliment. Needless to say my entire day turned around. It's wonderful how something so small could make my entire day better.

Just a thought...
Stephie

Movie Night!

     A few of my friends were lamenting the fact that I hadn't seen several of their favorite movies--Star Wars, Indiana Jones, Fight Club--so they all but blackmailed me into watching them.
     Star Wars was entertaining: a few of us got together and watched the more recent trilogy. I really enjoyed them, but there seemed to be a bit of disconnect between the original trilogy and the newer set. Not in the storyline, but in the technology that was used to create the story. The computer generated images seemed out of place: there was too much color and the style--shapes, patterns, blends and contrasts--was completely different from the original trilogy. Why wouldn't the artists look at the original concept art and work form there? It seemed like they watched the movies, but then, instead of continuing in the pattern already established, the artists branched out and introduced something completely new. In some places this worked, but when they went back to places where the first trilogy took place it looked completely out of place and as if they'd photo-shopped something in that wasn't supposed to be there.
     I'm interested to see what Disney does with the new trilogy. I hope they add more congruity and can bridge the first and second trilogies together.

Just a thought...
Stephie

"Are You Mad?"

     I went bowling with some friends tonight. It was a great time and I spent time with some people that I haven't seen in a long time, plus some people that I see on a regular basis. It was a great night, but I'm getting over a cold and the late night started taking its toll. We all walked from our apartments to the bowling alley and bowled several games, then about 1:00 am we walked back home. The entire way home I was coughing and wheezing, I just put it down to the massive change in temperature: mid-80s Farenheit to low-30s is a huge drop for my already overworked lungs.
     We got back to our complex and I noticed that my car was parked in a manner that would make leaving tomorrow difficult, so I took five minutes to clear it out and move it. During that five minutes I spent moving my car and preparing for tomorrow one of my friends--Peter--was bothering Lucy, another of our friends, about whether or not I was mad. My question is "what would I be mad about?" We all had a great night, made some good memories, and no one got hurt. When I got into the building it was my turn for the inquisition and he insisted on examining every part of the evening until I told him; I'm not mad, I'm sick, tired, and in pain from moving in and out of the cold. He then wanted to go into whether or not I was mad because Calvin came, I was excited Calvin decided to join our group and that I got to spend more time with him, why would that make me angry? In the end Lucy and I just sent Peter to bed and resolved to talk to him later.
     It gets me thinking though, why does Peter think I'm so angry? I might be disappointed something didn't turn out as I wanted, but when I retreat into my own world it doesn't mean I'm angry, rather I probably need a few minutes to myself and to react to large groups of people. As outgoing as I am with my friends, I really am an introvert and I do need those moments of relaxed alone time.

Just a thought....
Stephie

Sherlock Holmes

     I watch a lot of British television. It all started with Doctor Who, and spread from there. The most recent show I've been watching is Sherlock and it's a modern take on the myth of Sherlock Holmes. There are so many different variations of the story--movies dating back to the seventies, and probably before, television series, and even fan-fiction based on the original tales.
     There are two different shows running right now based on the myth: BBC's Sherlock and CBS's Elementary and I really enjoy them both. Elementary is one of the first non-British shows to portray Doctor Watson as an actual partner in Holmes's investigations (at least, according to an article I read somewhere). The combination of Lucy Liu and Jonny Lee Miller is an antagonistic relationship, but the male-female interaction has a different tenor than the male-male relationship.
     When Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman come to the screen the relationship is much different; they maintain the antagonizing interplay, but also have a difficult sort of friendship to describe. They don't seem to interact except when on a case, yet they know an uncanny amount about each other's habits and likes or dislikes. I've only gotten through the first two episodes, but when there are fewer episodes than there are seasons of other shows, two is numerically a lot. My sister and several of my friends are completely infatuated with both the men on the show and the show itself; I can see the draw, but it isn't going to be my life's blood, watching a show that doesn't have another season until next year.
     What I really want to do about this Sherlock Holmes obsession everyone seems to have is to read the books. There are plenty of them to keep us all entertained until the newest season of Sherlock comes on, so who is going to? Every comparison I've heard places these two new adaptations high on the list of "best" but we won't know until we've all consumed the entire canon.
Congratulations Sir Arthur Conan Doyle; you've managed to keep us all entertained for centuries after your death. I wonder what he'd think...

Just a thought...
Stephie

Protecting His Friend, or Himself?

     Have you ever had one of those days where someone said one thing, and it ruined your entire day, and leeched into the next day? That was today. I was chatting with a few friends last night, at dinner, when I mentioned that a mutual friend was interesting and I'd like to get to know him better. Nearly everyone at the table was okay with this decision, but the friend who had introduced us (we'll call him Jack) completely put his foot down. The others: (and these are not their real names) Edward, Lucy, Collin, Peter, and Bernard actually seemed supportive, but Jack insisted that our mutual friend (Calvin, for lack of his literary favorite) was interested in someone else, and this is after Jack'd tried to pair him with a girl from class.
     Normally that'd be okay, but the way he phrased it as "Calvin is off-limits" rather than just suggesting I wait until he'd figured out what's going on with that to pursue anything new. It made me angry that Jack was butting into my life, and kind of indignant that he was butting into Calvin's life. We're at completely different points where we want different things from our relationships and Jack doesn't seem to get that I'm going to do my best not to hurt Calvin.
     I keep trying to figure out why he'd do something so decisive as step in front of any "relationship train" that might move, and a couple of my friends and I came up with answers that don't fit with what I know about Jack: he likes me (that's not going anywhere and he's the kind of guy to move on when he realizes it's not), he's afraid I'll hurt Calvin (okay...), Calvin will hurt me and he wants to prevent that (really?!), he's afraid to lose Calvin to a relationship like he lost Peter to a relationship (that's not going to happen any time soon), and there are more, but those are the ones we're dealing with now. I just want Jack to let whatever is or isn't going to happen happen, let us figure this out for ourselves and you'll keep both friendships and might even develop both further. The only thing that's made the day any better is my other friends' encouragement, that's what friends are for: to make your day better.

Music

    So my friends all think my taste in music is crazy. My brother can't stand it. And my sister changes the radio to the one preset in my car that holds her radio station. But what makes my music any different than anyone else's? Yeah, I listen to country, but I also listen to classic rock, modern pop, 80s pop, and anything but rap (I still don't understand the appeal of rap). My gra'ma only likes to listen to classical or big band, so I keep a nice selection of it in my iTunes. Mom prefers holiday music after Thanksgiving (if you don't like Christmas music, good luck near my mother after December 1st) but otherwise likes the eclectic mix of Pink, Kelly Clarkson, Electric Light Orchestra, and George Strait. Dad enjoys mostly the stuff that was popular before I was born--classic rock and oldies. What makes my preference of everything so different.
     Every day we're exposed to so many different sounds that mix together and combine to create music. It could be considered the music of our lives and its all those little sounds, like the sound of pages turning in the library, friends laughing, computer keys clicking, a family member's voice in the other room, they're all sounds that speak to each person differently. It's the reason STOMP has gained popularity even though they don't use traditional instruments.
     What makes one person like a particular type of music more than another kind?

Just a thought...
Stephie

Back to the Grind

It's 2013!

     It was a crazy year, 2012: at least four "apocalypses", a Presidential Election, and some very influential decisions made in Washington State. Yet, we're all still here. What are some of your favorite memories from 2012? Did you ever keep those New Year's Resolutions that we're always making? What are some of the things you wouldn't change for the world?
     I'm back to school after a wonderful Christmas Break full of friends and family. New Year's was great, the party went as planned, and we had a great group of friends there. We counted down that last ten seconds to the new year and watched the Seattle Space Needle firework show on the local news. Then there was the NYC celebration, the flurry of text messages and phone calls from family and friends, and the midnight toast. Overall it was a great time and a fun way to ring in the new year.
     But now we're back. I learned yesterday that my entire January schedule was wrong: my class starts at 11:30 rather than 2:30 and goes Monday through Friday instead of starting Tuesdays. That doesn't seem like much of a change, except that it's right during the time I was scheduled to work. The frustration of figuring out how to balance all of our schedules and have someone on duty at all times is starting to get annoying, simply because January has a completely different schedule than the rest of the year. Anyway, everything is piling up, and homework is still a huge factor in what all of us Lutes are doing this month, but it's great to be back and have everyone else around.

Just a thought...
Stephie

New Year's Eve

     Every year I celebrate New Year's Eve with my family, everybody does their own thing while keeping the dogs calm as our neighbors set off fireworks. Occasionally my sister and brother and I will go over to the neighbors' house, but for the most part we don't do anything more than watch the fireworks and listen to the music on the news--kind of like the Fourth of July. But this year is going to be different.
     This year I am going to attend a party for the first time, well, a party that isn't a family get-together. And that's just kind of sad. Our party is going to be New Years themed, and I'm sure there will be an insane number of people being idiots, but what's a better reason to be silly than the end of the year? There will be music, movies, and the requisite game of beer pong. We've all made the decision to have fun and ring in the new year with some of our favorite people.
     I'm excited, Happy New Year!

Just a thought...
Stephie

End of the World

     Why is everyone freaking out about the end of the world? I'm only twenty-two and I've lived through more "end-of-the-world" scenarios than nearly any other era of history: Y2K and the electronics apocalypse of 2000, 9/11 and the terrorist attacks on the United States as well as the ensuing war, about twelve different dates for Armageddon, and now this--the end of the Mayan calendar. Is it that we have a fascination with death and destruction? Is it that we see something morally wrong with where we're all going? Or is it that it's really entertaining to propose a world-wide event and make believe that it'll happen?
     When I took a class on Fairy Tales, we discussed the stories as ways of coping with the moral dilemmas of our daily lives. The stories allowed us to live through these terrifying and traumatizing events without actually being physically harmed in the process, they were entertainment for the dark side of the human psyche. Is that what we're doing now, with these end of the world, death and destruction stories? Movies like 2012 and The Day After Tomorrow have become manifestations of our fear of the end of the world, and turning it into something that fascinates and entertains us. Decades ago, these same stories would be the Grimm versions of Cinderella, Rapunzel, Snow White, Iron John, and so many more myths and legends. They've been extended beyond the individual level--a single person's world is falling apart--to the destruction of all peoples and their worlds.
     Long, rambling, story short: these stories of Earth's destruction are the modern stories that help us deal with the problems of society and the fear of what's coming next. There is a place for such stories, but we, as everyday people, do not need to believe them in a literal sense.

Just a thought...
Stephie

PS. We're still here.

School Shooting--Make Your Own Decisions

     This past Friday, there was a terrible tragedy at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut: a classroom of kindergarteners and fourth graders, as well as some of the professionals at the school were killed. Now everyone is taking stances on the American Constitution's second Amendment--the right to bear arms. We seem to think because there is gun violence and people are going to abuse their right to protect themselves that taking away the ability for the average person to have a weapon is going to stop the people breaking laws.
     Here's my question: If people are going to use guns in the process of breaking the law, what makes our society think that the illegality of possessing a gun will stop gun violence and the breaking of law? If someone is going to break the law, making gun ownership illegal is not going to stop them. For example: one of the main arguments for why pot (marijuana) should be legal is that people are not going to stop using it.
     Yes, what happened Friday in Connecticut was a tragedy, twenty-some people lost their lives, parents lost their innocent children, and there will be a generation of children terrified and traumatized because of this experience. But, as sad as it is, this happens every day around the world: that same day 22 children and an elderly woman were stabbed in China outside an elementary school; July 20th of this year 12 people were killed and an additional 58 were injured when a gunman released teargas in a crowded theater release of the new Batman movie, then fired shots into the audience; a man near Newport Beach, California opened fire at a mall both Saturday and in a similar instance November 16th; and December 11th a man opened fire at the Clackamas Town Center mall near Portland, Oregon killing two people and severely injuring another.
     We live in our own little worlds, ignoring all the unpleasant things in our society until the media brings them to our attention. The local news may pick up on more of the tragedies that effect us directly, but this "head-in-the-sand" method of dealing with the dangers of life in a world where people don't respect each other is what will get us into real trouble. Be aware, not only of the 'crazies' that are out there killing people, but the people who are doing good in the world. Be aware of where you are and what you're doing. Be aware that the greatest dangers are of letting someone else make up your mind for you.

Just a thought....
Stephie

Do I have ADD or is it my Generation?

     So I'm working on a giant paper that shall be the bane of my existence until it is complete, but I've noticed that lately I just can't focus for more than fifteen minutes at a time. Even when I can get those fifteen minute bursts to line up and form more than 45 minutes, there are three things I have to have on hand: 1. A cup of hot tea, 2. A clean working environment, and 3. My earbuds and music. The first two are more necessary when I want to sit down for more than twenty minutes, but the third is necessary for any work to be done. My question is: Why can't I work unless I block out the world with music?
     When my brother was little, his teacher wanted him to be checked out for ADHD (Attention-Deficit/ Hyperactivity Disorder)--he was seven and hyperactive as any seven-year-old boy is--the doctors concluded no, but a couple of the symptoms of ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) linked with some of the behaviors that both my sister and I have been experiencing in the last couple years at college. Mainly the inability to focus for longer periods of time. Now, none of the doctors I've seen have said anything about having ADD, but I've noticed that when I can't hear the world around me, it's easier to focus. I've also noticed that I'm not the only one this works for.
     You can take a look at nearly any college library to find students listening to music while they study. This is the same group of students that can text and walk, listen to the television and hold a conversation, and play a video game while socializing with friends. Multi-tasking seems to be what we've been trained to do. I can keep track of four conversations at once, as long as I'm not actively involved in any of them, but why can't I just sit in a quiet room--even if I have my cup of tea and clean environment--and get anything done?
     There are a couple theories circulating that propose this inability to work without extraneous stimuli is a result of the multi-tasking my generation has been asked to do from such a young age. So why is my generation so different? We grew up with the computers, with the internet and all the flashing colors trying to get your attention, we have our portable music devices and our phones that all keep us going going going, and we've had them since we were little.
     I wonder about the children who are already experiencing what I've started going through in the last couple years: the lack of concentration without stimulation, what are they going to do in fifteen years when it all starts getting more pronounced? Will we have to have those sci-fi technologies where the computer display is in your head, just so the everyday person has enough background brain stimulation to focus on the foreground?
     Whatever happens, I just hope we realize that we're doing this to ourselves and our kids. Take the time to turn off all the electronics and interact with real people: they're way more stimulating and it eases the go-go-go of the brain.

Just a thought...
Stephie

Relationship Miscommunication

     So one of my really close friends was trying to talk to me about her boyfriend the other day. The boyfriend happens to be one of my friends from high school, so I know him reasonably well and don't really respond how she wants to her complaints about when he does the things that are truly unique to him. At first I just took it in stride--he's my friend and she's my friend, the two of them as a unit are my friends, not a huge deal.

     Apparently it's a much bigger deal than I thought. He and I decide to take a break from the shopping of a recent trip we made to visit her and go to dinner. We're sitting there in the pub in Portland, it was a really nice pub by the way, and he brings up that she complains to him that she can't gossip about him with me. I'm sitting there thinking, Well, duh, I've known you for about three years longer than I've known her, and he brings up the same point! I don't quite understand why it's such a big deal to everyone else that I know him as well as I do. We continue talking, and the girlfriend calls. She and my sister (who came down too) are done in the mall and want to know where we went, he gives them directions and they walk over. It's still not a big deal to either of us. 

     When they arrive she's obviously angry, or frustrated, or out of sorts with him and neither he nor I understand why. At first we just think it's that we didn't stay at the mall, then it's that he had a beer and she didn't want him anywhere near a car, then he suggested maybe jealousy; it wasn't until my sister explained that my friend's plans had been completely changed and taken out of her control that made her so out of sorts. I still don't know if he ever figured out what was going on with her, but they were pretty deep in conversation when we skedaddled. 

     My question is: how can something that is so small or innocent become a big enough deal to ruin one person's entire evening? I'm not a shopper and my friend and my sister are, he and I haven't had one-on-one time since they started dating and we were catching up. If we had known that she intended to continue with their double-date plans (even though the other couple had to cancel/postpone) the entire night would have turned out differently.

Just a thought....
Stephie