Back to School--Without the School

     It's August and that means time for school to start. This year is different for me though; I'm not going back to school. For the first time in seventeen years I won't be donning that new-school outfit and worrying about where I'm supposed to be and when, hoping I don't walk into the wrong class, and hoping I'll be on time. It is sort of a surreal feeling, but not a bad one.
     There is some of that nostalgia everyone says you'll have when you graduate. For some reason I didn't really have time for it after high school, but now that I'm leaving my friends, coworkers, and fellow Lutes, I'm starting to get what everyone was talking about.
     Why now? Well, I'm in my last week of work at the University and saying goodbye to people I've spent the last four years worrying over tests, schedules, and building relationships with is becoming more and more difficult. Today I realized we all have been only getting so close at work; the great friendships are formed by people who have class together or see each other outside of work. This week is letting us cut loose a little and have some fun. That fun is letting us get to know each other better and making it harder to let go and move on.
     I'm glad for all the friends I've made in college: from class, work, clubs, and other extra-curriculars come different kinds of people and different friendships. That's going to be what I miss the most, not the endless readings, not the twelve page papers due in two weeks, not the professors who want your entire attention while the groundskeepers are mowing the lawn outside, the friends and experiences you can only get in a place where so many people are trying to discover themselves outside of their pasts and the influences that make them into children.
     What will I do? I don't know. Maybe find a job, pay off those pesky student loans, and become the adult I always wanted to be. But not all grown-up, I'll still remember how it felt every September to look in that mirror and think, who am I going to be this year? I'm going to be me, just a little bit different.

Just a thought...
Stephie

Time Gets Away Sometimes...

     Wow, it's been a long time since I last posted! Life gets away when there isn't anything to differentiate the days. I used to think this was just something that happened in the summer, forgetting what day it was and what the date is. After this year I realize my forgetfulness is simply the monotony of unchanging days, and the fact that I don't have a teacher reminding me what day it is.
     I understand what the "time is a matter of perception" theories are about now: What differentiates Monday from Tuesday? Answer: Nothing. Monday and Tuesday are just things that help us tell stories about the past or future, neither of which actually exists at this point in time, other than on a calendar. There is only the present and marking time is how we communicate stories to other people, even stories as simple as "Today I went to work." I'm sure I could get into this more in-depth, but I'm not sure I understand it enough to try and confuse the rest of the world.
     My point is that without something special to hold the marker of time, the present blends into itself and Tuesday feels like Friday which feels like yesterday. Well, whatever day it really is, have a great day!

Just a thought...
Stephie